Smoking...

So, as someone who is trying - and very occasionally failing - to quit smoking, this subject is pretty close to home.

It was never an intention of mine to become a regular smoker when I first tried it (Age 9, with one of my friends) both of our parents smoked and We just wanted to see what the big deal was. I tried it a few times more after that, but a friend's dad found out and threatened to tell my Dad, so I stopped for fear of getting killed!

At age 16, I started smoking permanently. And have smoked since then, quitting for a few months here and there, but always starting again. Much to my annoyance.

The sad truth behind it all is this. Smoking is damn addictive, and I can truly praise those who have tried it a few times or whatever and decided that they didn't like it. Unfortunately, I have an addictive personality, and am hooked. I fear most when quitting that I will put on tons of weight, and being a larger woman already, this can never be a good thing! I use cigarettes as an appetite suppressant, and to kill boredom - I mean, what else is a 10 minute break for?

What annoys me most, as a smoker, is those who don't UNDERSTAND the addiction people suffer from. They don't smoke 40 a day because they want to waste money, they smoke 40 a day because they HAVE to. Jesus, take a packet of fags away from my Mother and you will get your face torn off within seconds! It's the addiction, the need, and pretty much all smokers will tell you that it helps them relax. There's nothing like lighting up after a hard day and feeling a sheer sense of relief. It's hard to describe much further than that!

People don't smoke to be rebellious - well, not unless you're about 12, and most of the time they are just trying to look hard in front of older people - they smoke because it's a release.

Most smokers that I know personally, all say that they would like to give up. My Mother, for example, has been saying for years that she should give up because she doesn't want to die early like my Nan did (through smoking). In 1996 My Nan died of Bronchitis, brought on from many many years of smoking at least 20 a day. All of my memories of my Nan involve her having a fag in her mouth, even when she had a ventilator machine hooked up to her. But when she found out she was dying her words were...

"The fags have already given me a death sentence so there's no point giving up now, not when I enjoy them"

I see her sense. Even if she had quit, it had gone too far for it to have made any difference at all, and she still lived for a good 8 years after she was diagnosed too.

The point I'm trying to get to by telling you about my personal experiences, is that everyone I know who wants to give up smoking wants to stop for health reasons. My mum has extra strong patches (I don't go home a lot for this reason, I would like to live thanks), My dad has a problem with his lungs and has now successfully cut down to about 5 a day (much to my annoyance, I'd like him to stop completely), and I am chronically ill with Chest infections, and have asthma, so shouldn't smoke anyway! Another reason why I'd like to quit is because I want children in the next few years. I don't want my children around my partner and myself smoking, inhaling it. I don't want to be one of those mothers you see walking down the street pushing a pushchair with a fag in her mouth (usually in a tracksuit, but who's judging?)

86% of people who want to quit cite health problems as the reason. I'm one of these people.

(http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=313)

Who wants lungs like this?

No thanks!!